I posted this picture to Instagram a couple weeks ago. I recently moved to Florida and have been blessed to be able to enjoy lots of time at the beach lately. No doubt about it, it's a beautiful view. And usually beautiful views make life look and feel a lot easier.
If someone else had posted this photo and I saw it, I would think, "Man...she has it all together. She's at the beach and she's doing devotions. It must be nice." But...since I'm the one who posted the picture, I'm the one who gets to tell you the real story.
You see, on the other side of that camera is a girl who feels very out of whack. Life has been a little on the crazy side lately, and now I'm looking for my new normal. And even though my devotional, my Bible, and my journal are neatly arranged on my beach mat along with an ice cold Dr. Pepper and headphones which one could assume would be used to listen to worship music, my spiritual life doesn't look that perfect. As much as I'd love to say it does, it just doesn't.
I've struggled to make time for the Lord lately. There...I said it.
I've become one of "those" that uses the excuse, "Life is just so busy."
Or I sit down to read my Bible and think, "Ugh. I don't want to do this. I just want to shut my mind off."
And every night when I crawl in bed and realize I've failed yet again, I beat myself up...yet again.
It's something I'm becoming really tired of. I'm tired of feeling so defeated. I'm tired of feeling like the enemy is laughing in my face and saying, "HA! Got you again!" Because, ultimately, it's my decision. I prioritize my own life. I give my time to what I feel is most important. And lately, I haven't been making the right decisions.
When I throw myself a pity party and think about nothing but how tired and emotionally exhausted I am, I'm forgetting that nothing can restore me spending time with God can. I'm forgetting that God is my peace and my comfort. I'm forgetting that I can rest in Him. I'm forgetting that he is my strength, my portion, my strong tower. And shutting Him out, whether it's intentional or not, is only making things worse.
Nothing will fill the God-shaped void in my soul but God.
It's that simple.
So if you thought my life was perfect or anywhere close to perfect, let me reassure you...it's most certainly not. But I find freedom in the fact that God's mercies are new every. single. morning ((Lamentations 3:22-23)). No matter how many days I've ignored Him, he's still there waiting on me. And he bends down to listen when I call out to Him ((Psalm 116:2)).
Thanks for letting me be transparent. Well...it is my blog, so I guess I can say whatever I want. ;)
But really, I'm thankful that I can share my heart and be real and know that I will be encouraged.
What are some of your favorite ways to stay in God's Word daily? Please share them below!
(One of my favorites is She Reads Truth!)