I posted this picture to Instagram a couple weeks ago. I recently moved to Florida and have been blessed to be able to enjoy lots of time at the beach lately. No doubt about it, it's a beautiful view. And usually beautiful views make life look and feel a lot easier.
If someone else had posted this photo and I saw it, I would think, "Man...she has it all together. She's at the beach and she's doing devotions. It must be nice." But...since I'm the one who posted the picture, I'm the one who gets to tell you the real story.
You see, on the other side of that camera is a girl who feels very out of whack. Life has been a little on the crazy side lately, and now I'm looking for my new normal. And even though my devotional, my Bible, and my journal are neatly arranged on my beach mat along with an ice cold Dr. Pepper and headphones which one could assume would be used to listen to worship music, my spiritual life doesn't look that perfect. As much as I'd love to say it does, it just doesn't.
I've struggled to make time for the Lord lately. There...I said it.
I've become one of "those" that uses the excuse, "Life is just so busy."
Or I sit down to read my Bible and think, "Ugh. I don't want to do this. I just want to shut my mind off."
And every night when I crawl in bed and realize I've failed yet again, I beat myself up...yet again.
It's something I'm becoming really tired of. I'm tired of feeling so defeated. I'm tired of feeling like the enemy is laughing in my face and saying, "HA! Got you again!" Because, ultimately, it's my decision. I prioritize my own life. I give my time to what I feel is most important. And lately, I haven't been making the right decisions.
When I throw myself a pity party and think about nothing but how tired and emotionally exhausted I am, I'm forgetting that nothing can restore me spending time with God can. I'm forgetting that God is my peace and my comfort. I'm forgetting that I can rest in Him. I'm forgetting that he is my strength, my portion, my strong tower. And shutting Him out, whether it's intentional or not, is only making things worse.
Nothing will fill the God-shaped void in my soul but God.
It's that simple.
So if you thought my life was perfect or anywhere close to perfect, let me reassure you...it's most certainly not. But I find freedom in the fact that God's mercies are new every. single. morning ((Lamentations 3:22-23)). No matter how many days I've ignored Him, he's still there waiting on me. And he bends down to listen when I call out to Him ((Psalm 116:2)).
Thanks for letting me be transparent. Well...it is my blog, so I guess I can say whatever I want. ;)
But really, I'm thankful that I can share my heart and be real and know that I will be encouraged.
What are some of your favorite ways to stay in God's Word daily? Please share them below!
(One of my favorites is She Reads Truth!)
Hey there, I've been feeling the sane way lately. Sometimes I just listen to the audio on my Bible app for a change. Thanks for sharing. Miss you guys. Rachel
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea! I bet that would be nice to listen to while doing the laundry! :) Thanks for stopping by! Miss you so much, Rachel!! Love you!
DeleteThank you for sharing your struggles to spend time with God. I've discovered that I have to write in my prayer journal first (ok, it's really more like a diary to God), before my mind is clear enough to get anything out of what I read in my Bible. Writing is like slowing my mind and my heart so I can be open to his still, small voice.
ReplyDeleteI love your idea. Writing it out is such a great way to get it all out there AND a great way to be able to go back and see the way God works in our lives! :) So glad you stopped by the blog!
DeleteThank you so much for sharing this story & linking up! I've found that having friends who hold me accountable help me stay in the Word, and because I tend to skim/drift/lose focus when I read familiar passages of Scripture, I've started to "write the Word" - literally writing down what I'm reading word-for-word. It's really helped me stay focused & not rush through it :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting the link-up! What a great idea! Oh, and I used your advice of writing the Word tonight. Loved seeing it in my own writing and thinking about how it applies to my life! Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteSuch a wonderful post! I also have many days that I feel this way. I am so thankful for your encouragement! Thankful you found my blog and I am looking forward to following along with yours :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad I found your blog! Thanks for encouraging me! Certainly excited to follow along with you too!
DeleteSuch a great post, Lindsay. I have been in a bit of a funk with my spiritual life lately too. It frustrates me so much but I have been way too quick to choose other things to fill my minutes with rather than just soaking in a few uninterrupted moments with the Lord. I don't know why, because when I do choose Him I am so blessed! Thanks for being vulnerable and real :)
ReplyDeleteYES! So blessed! I sure do love God's presence! Why don't I choose to spend time in it everyday?! Thank YOU for being real. You're awesome, Erin!
DeleteI am so glad to have found you from Crystal's Behind the Scenes link up. Your words today perfectly describe how I am feeling lately. I have just not been as diligent and focused as I was in the past but plan to change that. Thanks for sharing !!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by! I'm right there with ya! Working hard to change! :)
DeleteFirst of all, what a great link up idea! Is this weekly? I need to hop on board.
ReplyDeleteAnd also, thank you for sharing your heart girl! You're so right, our pictures online make us look like we all have it figured out, when we certainly don't. I love that opening ourselves up help us let go of the comparison, and focus on the one thing that matters: God.
Amy, I'm not sure if it's weekly or not, but if you hop over to Crystal's blog (click the link-up button), you should be able to ask her. Isn't it great?!
DeleteAnd yes...comparison is a huge issue in the social media world AND the blogging world! Thankful for God's reminders that it's all about Him!