Wednesday, January 28

In His Strength.

I can't remember the last time I was sitting on the couch twiddling my thumbs.
Free time?? What is this "free time" you speak of? I'm a mommy of a newborn. Ain't no such thing!

Well, technically I have things I should could be doing, but I'm enjoying the silence in my house and taking a moment to write some of my thoughts before the regularly scheduled thoughts take over. You know...the ones like, "Is that poop on my shirt?" or "Wow, I haven't seen the shower in a few days." (Of course, that's not true....okay, sometimes it is.)

Aaaanyway. Being a new mom has taught me a lot of things. For instance, I've learned just how NOT-stealthy I am. It seems like every time I put Nora down for a nap, I try to do something very quietly, yet somehow I manage to step on a dog toy, sneeze my guts up, drop a fork on the kitchen floor, you name it. After 8 weeks, I think I've finally determined that nap time is not the time to do the dishes. 

Another thing I've learned? Motherhood is HARD, y'all!

I mean, I seriously want to start a campaign to raise awareness in pregnant women of just how hard it is. But then I realize that no advice (or horror story - for those of you who think it's a good idea to share them with a pregnant woman) could ever really prepare you for it. It's one of those things you get the pleasure of learning all on your own. 

But here's my favorite thing that I've learned in the last 9 weeks of motherhood:

Motherhood brings out this incredible strength you didn't even know you had within you.
Let's just start with giving birth: GUYS. I'm a big baby. I knew from day one that I wanted the drugs. And when I woke up from a dead sleep to the first, incredibly painful contraction, I immediately hit the call button and begged for the drugs. And five minutes later, I got the drugs.
But when it came time to push, I couldn't feel a thing! After lots of pushing and not much progress, my midwife, told me we needed to turn the epidural off so I could feel a little more pressure. An hour later, I was still pushing and I could feel every. single. thing.
Had you told me before that day that I would give birth essentially drug-free, I would have gone into straight-up panic mode. But in the moment, I did it! And I'm still alive to tell my story! Ha!

And even after I brought my little girl home, this strength I never knew I had kept showing up when I needed it. When I was oh, so sleep-deprived, I still managed to keep going to take care of my child. When my body feels like it's been hit by a train, I still seem to find a way to keep going. There are moments when I just want a break. There are days when I wake up and think to myself, "I don't think I have it in me today." Yet, somehow, I rub my eyes, climb out of bed, pick up my sweet, bright-eyed girl, and I find the strength I need for the day.

Now, please, don't think I'm throwing myself a pity party or minimizing the difficulty of anyone else's job. I know many, many mothers who have multiple children, and in my current state, I'm seriously questioning whether or not they're superheroes. I know that someday I'll look back on this season of my life and say, "HA! I just thought that was hard!"

But here's my point: the season you're in? God made you for that.
Those days you feel like you just. can't. Don't worry...God made you to do it. You can.
Those crazy kids you can't seem to keep under control? God chose you to be their parent.
Those moments you feel like you're not qualified? God created you. You're qualified.

If there's one thing that has resounded in my heart the most since becoming a mother, it's that God truly made me to be a mother. And he didn't just make me to be a mother. He made me to be Nora's mother. Not in my own strength, but in HIS.
And the same goes for you, whoever you may be, whatever your title may be.
God made you to be you. In HIS strength.

You know the verse: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
And don't you forget it.

What good's awake! Bye y'all!

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